APA Expert Opinion
An APA expert answers common questions about New Year's Resolutions

Philip R. Muskin, M.D., is Professor of Clinical Psychiatry, Columbia University and Chair of the APA Council on Psychosomatic Medicine

Every January I make a few New Year’s resolutions but by February I give up. How can I stay committed and follow though?

No one succeeds without some failure, but no one succeeds without setting realistic goals. It is important not to abandon the idea of making resolutions for yourself because you have broken them in the past. You may need to simply readjust the type and number of goals you're setting for yourself. Some resolutions are not realistic, others require much more than we acknowledge at the time we make the promise to ourselves, and some are right on target. Separating each type of resolution is important in terms of following though during the next year. Kicking a bad habit or starting a new healthy one requires very different efforts, but both are worth thinking about.

Once you have decided you are ready to make a New Year's resolution, you should develop a plan and make it a priority. Pay attention to your thinking and try to counter negative ideas like “I'll never succeed” with positive thoughts like “I made progress this week.” What are the steps necessary to achieve the goal? Planning small steps works better than trying to change everything overnight. Small steps may not seem like much at first, but over time they add up to success. Write down your plan so you can check off each step and see the progress you’ve made. If you want to lose 100 pounds, you can’t expect that to happen quickly. How will you change your eating habits, how will you exercise, and what will you do to maintain the weight loss? Each step deserves careful thought, which will pay off in the end. If you end up losing 50 pounds you haven’t failed. You have just lost less weight than you hoped to lose, but, you have still lost weight.

The most important point to consider when deciding on your resolutions is to decide if you are truly willing to make the change in your life. Deciding to make the change just to have a resolution will not keep you motivated to attain your goal. Many people fail because they are afraid or don’t fully realize how the goal can benefit their everyday lives. When you decide on your resolution, make a plan of action and list the ways it will improve your life. When you can see the prize, you are more likely to keep up the fight. A resolution is a gift to yourself that no one else can give you. If you stop smoking you haven’t taken anything away from yourself, you have given yourself a healthier life style.

For more ideas, see APA’s tip sheet on New Year’s Resolutions.

I am being treated for depression but I want to try managing it on my own in 2006. Can I just stop taking my medication?

I strongly recommend discussing this with your psychiatrist before stopping your medication. Feeling better may not be an indication that the medication is no longer necessary. Discussing how you are feeling is crucial to your treatment. It is important that you have a comprehensive, individualized treatment plan – one that you feel comfortable with and will follow through on.

We know that treatment for depression works, but what works for one person may not work for another. Each person’s specific course of treatment may include medications, talk therapy, or a combination of both. Stopping your medication without consulting with your physician is never a good idea. Even if it this would be an appropriate time to discontinue the medication, your physician will guide you in terms of the safe way to go off the medication, advise you what to expect, and discuss the warning signs of a new episode of depression.

I want to stop smoking for my New Year’s resolution, but I have failed in the past. What can I do to help make it stick this time?

Most importantly, don’t beat yourself up because you have failed in the past. It took time to build this habit you're trying quit. No one plans to become addicted to cigarettes. Some people have been smoking for decades before they are ready to attempt to give up the addiction. Just keep telling yourself you can do it and take it one day at a time. A major first step is to consult with your physician. Let him or her know of your goal and ask for suggestions.

When quitting smoking, it is helpful to educate yourself on the side effects of nicotine withdrawal. This way you will know what to expect. Nicotine withdrawal may make you restless, irritable, frustrated, sleepless, or accident prone - but these things will pass and you will quickly start to feel the benefits. Also, some people have found it useful to write out all the reasons they want quit. You can keep a journal of how you feel each day. This will allow you to vent your frustrations and catalogue your daily accomplishments. Another motivational tool is to calculate how much money you will save each week, month, and year by quitting. Once you total your savings, you can create a wish list of other items/activities you can use with the money you’ve saved. That way you get two gifts; the gift of being healthier and the things you can give yourself with the extra money.

Keeping up with your general health is also important. If you aren’t getting enough sleep, eating right or exercising, your body will feel run down and this may lead to cravings. Quitting aids like gum and patches may also be an option, but consult with your physician to make sure they are right for you. Some people feel depressed when they stop smoking. If this happens you should consult with your physician to talk about how you are feeling.

My work schedule and other necessities keep me away from my kids more than I would like. My resolution is to spend more time connecting with my children. Any advice on how to fit it all in?

If you’re like most people, you have a lot of activities you have to balance on a daily basis. Work, family, relationships with friends, financial matters, and many other things require your time and attention. It can be difficult to find a balance, but some planning and extra effort can go a long way.

One good time to connect with your entire family is during meals. We often grab a quick bite on the run or eat in front of the television. Make a concerted effort to eat at the dinner table as a family every night, even if it’s “take out” food. This will give you the opportunity to discuss your child’s day, talk about school work, friends, concerns, and successes. Talking during a meal, without other things going on, makes it easier on everyone. If you have to work after dinner, have limited time, etc. tell your family about any time constraints you have in your schedule. This may also help you to plan to be involved in more of your child’s activities, like sporting events and school plays. When you know about these dates in advance, it will be easier to adjust your schedule to participate.

Holding “family meetings” may also be a good way to plan activities together. Whether it’s watching television together or volunteering at a local charity, you can decide together.

Everyone talks about “wellness.” What is that?

Wellness is a mental and physical state where we feel things are in balance in our lives. That does not mean that everything is wonderful, or that nothing we don’t like ever happens. It does mean that we are putting our efforts into maintaining this state. Anything worth having requires some work. But work is not a negative thing it is the effort we are willing to spend on ourselves.

Physical wellness includes eating in a healthy way, not focusing on dieting. It includes regular exercise and doing things that are fun for ourselves and with the people about whom we care in our lives. It includes regular doctor visits, not because we are sick, but to maintain being well.

Mental wellness includes realizing the stresses and responsibilities we have in life and deciding upon how we will meet these responsibilities. It may include medication (as may physical wellness) and may include benefiting from the training of others to help us maintain our mental well being. Some people feel it is “weak” to consult a mental health professional, i.e., they should “do it on their own.” Interestingly most people think nothing of getting help throughout life in a variety of circumstances. We have teachers, coaches, advisors, etc. upon whom we count and to whom we turn for help. Mental health professionals are no different. They are there to help you help yourself.

Like many other people, my goal for the New Year is to lose weight and practice healthier eating habits. I know the usual advice (exercise, watch my calories, eat more fresh foods) but do you have any other suggestions?

Improving our health is often at the top of the list of goals we all want to achieve. Dieting and weight loss are two of the most common resolutions. If you want to succeed in making a major shift in your eating patterns, taking small steps works best. When we try to change everything at all at once, it is usually too much to stick with and we give up.

The American Dietetic Association recommends making a plan that involves small alterations week by week. Changes such as adding an extra serving of fruits or vegetables to a meal each day, instead of having bread or cake for dessert, will make your diet more healthy, but won’t leave you feeling deprived. Look for healthy foods that can be substituted for junk food. This might take some planning, especially during the day at work. When we are hungry it is hard to keep to the resolution, so plan before meals rather than figure out what to do at mealtime. If there is no alternative to junk food for lunch or breakfast at work, think about bringing a healthy foods to work.

Try keeping a "food diary" of your progress. This is always a good way to track your results and see what situations trigger food cravings. Don’t rely on the scale as your only guide to success. The scale is not always a friend as it can be demoralizing when we don’t see the pounds coming off as quickly as we would like. Often, when we are stressed or feeling down, we reach for food as a source of comfort or reward. If you can pinpoint when you do this, you can curb your food splurges and learn the rewards of eating better and losing weight.

Remember, it is the food we buy in the store that is the problem. Why? When we buy a gallon of ice cream we don’t plan on eating the entire gallon all at once. But, when we turn to food to help us feel better emotionally, what we have at home is a gallon of ice cream which we eat until we feel better. Therefore, buying a smaller amount does not allow us to “forget” our resolution during a stressful period. The same is true for the box of cookies, etc. Think about other ways to relieve the stress such as physical exercise, breathing exercises, meditation, etc. If the feeling of stress or feeling down continues to be a problem, consider talking to your physician about it. You don’t have to do this on your own, getting help will increase your achieving your goals.

To locate a psychiatrist in your area, visit www.psych.org and click on “District Branches & State Associations” to contact your local APA District Branch. You may also visit www.MentalHealthScreening.org to locate a depression screening site near you.

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